Chillin’ on the sofa with Charlie and Kawiki

Chillin’ on the sofa with Charlie and Kawiki

Sunning. #kitties #luckybums

Sunning. #kitties #luckybums

I’m so frustrated that the first time I post something personal (it’s been several months) I just fall right back into shitty short whiny sentences. 

That last sentence, however, is a good sign. My brain is waking up. I didn’t go to bed until 2 a.m., which is something I haven’t done in months. I’m usually asleep by midnight. I was on a roll. I don’t know if it was the sugar or the new dosing I’m trying with one of my meds. I was in hyperfocus mode for inane things.

On the bright side, I listed two new pairs of shoes on tradesy, and I spent the last of my birthday money on some great items at Target. And I’m fortunate enough that my parents are helping me buy a new car next week (they’re putting some money down, co-signing the loan, and helping me with payments until I get a job). And I’m volunteering for a fantastic film group in my town and that’s good because it’s something. I haven’t been doing a lot of anything.

But at this moment, my cravings are very intense and I just want to eat a ton of bad fatty foods. I’m not happy with that aspect of my life.  

rosettabooks:

No one can stop at just one ;)

rosettabooks:

No one can stop at just one ;)

(via prettybooks)

sometimes I feel like I’m crumbling into little pieces of fat and nothingness.

and it happens randomly and can go very quickly. and then come back very quickly. 

fuck depression.

"Squirrel!"

"Squirrel!"

Down in the Dumps by rebeccah13 featuring brown rugsTopshop sweatshirt / J Crew t shirt / Nasty Gal t shirt / NIKE sweat pants / Vitra accent chair / West Elm antique mirror / Brown rug, $445 / Cable lighting, $295 / Tree wall art / Williams Sonoma handmade tag / Home decor / Plushie Sewing Pattern PDF Cute Soft Plush Toy - Lulu Baby Giraffe… / 8” Best Friends Fur-Ever River Otter(Pack of 12)- DDI-Toys &…, $125 / Real Plush Stuffed Animal Two-toed Sloth / Blabla Kids Doll Josephine the Elephant Mini / Foggy the Plush Lamb by Douglas at Stuffed Safari / 13” Narwhal Plush Stuffed Animal Toy / Aurora World Plush Soft Doll HONEYSUCKLE the Pig (Pink Ballerina)(15… / Realistic Stuffed Lamb 11 Inch Plush Animal by Aurora at Stuffed… / TY Classic Plush Wild Wild Best KINGSTON the Lion (10 inch) / Crow Plush / Buffy the Little Plush Goat by Douglas at Stuffed Safari / Celestial the Stuffed Unicorn by Aurora At Stuffed Safari / Plush Malayan Tapir Mini Flopsie by Aurora at Stuffed Safari / Aurora World Plush YooHoo Friends Clip On SUGAR GLIDER (Shooga 3 inch) / Skagerak Georg Hocker, $305 / Radar the Brown Owl Stuffed Animal by Douglas at Stuffed Safari
Thursday Sweetheart by rebeccah13 featuring bridal shoesAlexander McQueen black dress, $3,270 / Jimmy Choo bridal shoes / Dolce Gabbana dolce gabbana handbag / Andrea Fohrman chain jewelry / Sephora Collection matte eyeshadow / Nars cosmetic / Tarte mascara / Nars cosmetic, $31 / Bobbi Brown Cosmetics eyeliner, $28

My name's Rebecca. I've *gasp* just graduated college. I'm 22, (holy fuck I'm old.) Honestly, I tend to think I'm a mess but that's usually just my inner dialogue freaking out. I don't really know what I want to be or how to push myself there, but I'm not giving up.